I came to this very elite Los Angeles high school with very high expectations of myself; then I quickly found out that I was a no one.
There was always someone smarter, more athletic, more unique than me...what place did I have?
I was just another Filipino kid, what I perceived to be a marginal, don't-participate-in-class-maligned "8:15-2:20 student." And I wasn't even that good as just a student.
The year 2000 marked the middle of my term at this high school. A time of intense identity searching.
- My godsister Cheryl was at the height of her coolness: she graduated high school! And she was having this watergun fight called Waterfest...the first year we had it at rinky dink "dirty" Griffith Park, this year we had it at the "cleaner," official cool place in the Valley where the pookashells, chinese character bracelets, and raver kids were out in full force. There was this kid named Richie with the biggest nose but had the coolest raver moves ever.
- 2000 was the year I got my first real-person crush. LOL, it was someone who IMed me with AIM screen names that implicated things from penguins to rip curls. Ha ha. Oh to the effin' boy, you'd know if you've known me long enough and you'd laugh if you saw us now. We traded lines of "I need a Hot Girl" with each other one night. I thought she was the right amount of geek for me...nowadays she's cool, whatevs.
In the midst of this identity-searching and getting, this was the summer to get all R&Bish and emo-ey.
Kicked off by a song making me think of the glitzy, cleansy, technological, silvery-white future:
The first time I liked this girl, I really really really really felt this song below --- I wanted her to know, but then I didn't.
Everyone seemed to discover this song like 4 years later when I didn't feel it all anymore.
Musiq - Just Friends.
Feel it even less nowadays.
I'm a lot more cynical and p'd off to be living such bs.